Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Inspiring People I - Ryan and Rachel

FYI on Rach and Ry is a blog written by a friend of a friend, whom I've met a few times in passing.  The blog is written mostly by Rachel as she chronicles her and Ryan's marriage.  My favorite topics are the ones about their pursuit of a forever family.  The details are on the blog and I don't feel like I should share them on mine, but they have had a wonderful, terrifying, inspiring time navigating the world of fertility and adoption.

I found the blog when a mutual friend posted a link to a post written after a few months of particularly trying experiences.  I started reading their blog late at night after I finished homework and would find myself sobbing in commiseration for their sorrow.  A quote that hits me hard every time I read it, as she talks about breaking bad news to their friends:

I didn't want to hear [my friends] say what everyone says , "It will all work out," or "Just have faith--it's all in the Lord's hands," or "It will happen when it's supposed to."  As true as those words may be, they aren't helpful.  Those words trivialize the pain that I am feeling now, in this moment.  Those words make me feel so alone.

I feel the same way sometimes.  I don't want to tell my parents or my siblings about having same gender attraction because I don't want to hear them say that it's all part of God's plan for me.  True or not, God's plan still really hurts sometimes.

Luckily for Rachel and Ryan (and for me), they had understanding friends who expressed their sorrow and shared in their grief with phrases of affirmation like, "This isn't fair," "We're sorry," and "We love you."  

That next day, Rachel posted this.  It neatly follows up the sadness of the day before with the perspective that only a day's time and a mature heart can bring.  She quotes Psalm 30:5 in the title:  "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."  What a touching, simple, and inspiring thought.  

Their story has a happy continuation, as they are now adopting a healthy baby boy, due in a few short months.  I look forward to seeing their lives unfold together and can't wait to see their family grow and thrive.  Rachel and Ryan's optimism through what must be one of the hardest trials for a family to go through inspires me to find more joy in my life.

Rachel and Ryan link My Kindness Shall Not Depart from Thee on their blog.  Have a listen.


  1. I found your blog due to traffic to my blog. Wow--thank you for the amazing tribute. I am so incredibly humbled to hear that my experience has helped you with yours. I love to write, but sometimes I wonder if I should be so open and honest online. Hearing that my post touched someone with a different (but in ways similar) struggle really makes me want to keep writing! Life is so difficult, but God is good. I read your "About Me," and it sounds like you have been on quite the journey! It sounds like you are very strong. I am, of course, curious to know who you are and how we've met, but you don't have to tell me. I will be reading your blog from now on. You are incredibly articulate, and I have several LDS friends who are gay, and I am really interested in following your journey and hearing your perspectives. Thanks for creating this blog, and thanks for linking to mine. Keep writing!!!! rachel dot nielson at hotmail.com

  2. @Rachel
    Thanks for the encouraging words! I can easily reciprocate all of the sentiments as well. Your blog has been inspiring insofar that, although we're different people with different trials, God has been present in your life as he has in mine. So thanks for sharing what you've been so open to share in the past, it's been very helpful and humbling!


Be nice, mmmmkay? I allow anonymous comments, but not anonymous (or even attributed) douchebaggery. The Gay Mormon Pioneer's tolerance for hate and venom are incredibly low, but his love of communication and debate are high, so have an opinion, but be kind and gentle when you share it.

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