Friday, March 16, 2012

Cure the Craving

Cure the Craving is my next step.

Admittedly, I've had a relapse or two since my last desperate blog post about wanting to quit pornography, but following a very compassionate blog post by a friend of mine (I'll refrain from linking to it, that never really works out well for me ;) and a brave blog post by Bravone, I've found a second wind in my fight to eradicate porn and shame from my life.

The gist of my friend's post is that porn shouldn't be a taboo. It's a sin and it's a real problem in our world, but it's something that is made all the more damaging when it becomes too embarrassing to talk about. He links to a program called Fight the New Drug, an educational resource on the causes of pornography consumption and its effects. His post was compassionate; it sounded like it came from a young man who had no experience with pornography addiction and yet wanted to be a support to those who have. Very impressed by that.

Bravone's post linked to Cure the Craving, a program that was started by a recovered pornography addict named Tony. He is an LDS life coach and success mentor, developed the program, which takes place over nine months and is free of charge, to help people understand, compartmentalize, and cope with their cravings for pornography, sexual deviance, and masturbation.

I signed up for the program and got started with the introductory video, in which Tony explains that pornography consumption is motivated by triggers found in the body, mind, and spirit and as a reaction to stress. His approach takes a cold, clinical tack, identifying how excessive sugar consumption, caffeine addiction (is it getting hot in here or is that the Coke Zero bubbling in my stomach?), poor nutrition, and a lack of exercise lead the body to chemically require stimulation from porn. The next step shows how emotional distress, boredom, horniness (an emotion, not a physical state), loneliness, and anger cause the same reaction in our brains. Additionally, the spirit (in his non-denominational definition, the place from which we view the world) needs time and a way to cope with those temptations. Finally, effective stress management ties everything together by providing practical solutions to these physiological problems.

In addition to this real-world approach to solving the problem of pornography (something my male brain requires), Tony litters his initial video with humor and a sense of hope as he conveys his struggle with pornography. He breaks down his shame cycle in a way I'm very intimately aware of and makes me feel like I can do it. The biggest thing that shone through was that it doesn't matter how long it's been since your last exposure to pornography. All that matters is today. One day of making good choices is one day further away from porn, and everyone needs that one more day, whether it's been two hours or two years since your last relapse.

It kinda sucks because he's pretty handsome (and heaven knows how I like my men handsome and faithful), but in addition to the video courses, there are two weekly phone calls, one monthly question and answer session, and a 24/7 in-the-moment emergency line to call when confronted with the temptation. Very hopeful tools in the hands of this desperate sufferer.

So, dear reader, check out those programs if you so desire. Even if you don't struggle, maybe you'll find something you can use to solve your own problems, or maybe it'll help you help a friend. And also, if you feel so inclined, I'd appreciate the occasional check-up. Even if I've never spoken to you, e-mail me and ask me how I'm doing. It'll remind me to be more accountable.

And as always, I'm here for you too. Let's succeed together.  gay mormon pioneer at gmail dot com


  1. GMP,

    Thanks for the link and a great post. I'm glad you too are motivated to action. I appreciate your blog and especially your taste in cars!

    Let's stay in touch,


  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. Goodness, young man, you watch porn because you have been told that you can't masturbate or have sex with those you are attracted to. That's why. Sheesh, the church gives you the problem and then calls it a sin. round and round.

    1. I've appreciated your comments. However, there is a tinge of bitterness in your words that I don't necessarily appreciate or condone. Nonetheless, I don't believe in silencing anyone's opinion, even if I don't agree. All I ask is that you afford more respect to my choices and emotions. Even if the church is wrong, I am not ready to admit that right now and it causes me great distress. I'd appreciate if you were more sensitive to that. Maybe in a year I'll be where you're at and laugh at myself, but right now, I need to process everything in my own time.

      I would like to further qualify my issues with pornography. I have noticed that the more I watch porn, the shallower I get. I begin to judge other guys who don't have a six-pack or whose otherwise perfect body is slightly misshapen in some way. I also find myself wondering if the guy I'm attracted to has a big dick, and if he doesn't, what a shame that would be!

      Porn is a real problem, not just for the religious zealots. It's not something I want in my life, church or not church. If in ten years I am married to a man, I want him to be the only naked person I see, because it's his body that I will come to appreciate, not the impossibly sculpted bodies of porn stars.

    2. I do hope someday you'll feel comfortable losing the anonymity, as well. Anonymous comments are great for those who need it; your candor and self-confidence lead me to believe you probably don't.


Be nice, mmmmkay? I allow anonymous comments, but not anonymous (or even attributed) douchebaggery. The Gay Mormon Pioneer's tolerance for hate and venom are incredibly low, but his love of communication and debate are high, so have an opinion, but be kind and gentle when you share it.

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