Friday, April 20, 2012


The day before I left for college, I talked to my dad and it went really well. He too expressed that he'd suspected for awhile (don't tell me that everyone in the world already knows and they're just waiting for me to confirm), but that he was glad I trusted him with the info. I felt bad when I told him that I'd already talked to mom and almost everyone else, but he seemed to take it okay.  He expressed love for me and then asked where I stood with it. When I told him that I was trying to make it all work within the context of the church, he encouraged me and said I could do it if I wanted to.

As I suspected, he's pretty ignorant to the whole situation. He asked if it meant I couldn't serve a mission and asked if it meant I wasn't going to be able to get married. I told him about Ty Mansfield and how he's married after doubting his chances, then alluded to someone he knows who is in an mixed-orientation marriage (without giving him away, of course). He was surprised to learn that some of us are married and have kids in spite of it all.  Then we talked about sex (about 12 years too late on that one, Daddio) and how it's really not the most important thing. He asked about my therapy sessions and why I started and why I stopped, and then encouraged me to start again, just to have someone local to be accountable to.  He gave me a hug and I went on my way.

I was expecting the ignorance he showed, but I was blindsided by the way he asked questions and tried to learn about the situation. He seemed very humble and teachable, which isn't something I was expecting. And he was unconditionally loving.  It was a great experience and it feels good to be open about everything with my family. Phew.


  1. Congratulations! You have a pretty cool dad, I would say...

  2. Sorry I'm commenting so late--I was in Buffalo with friends for about 10 days, which means I rarely checked email and never checked blogs. I basically fell off the face of the earth.

    I am SO GLAD that your dad reacted the way he did. What a relief it must be to you. I love that he asked so many genuine questions.


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