Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Backstory: 2002-2006 - The girl edition

High school was a crazy time.  A crazy, crazy time.

My time in middle school was pretty fun.  In spite of those familial indiscretions that occurred just before entering, I had a good time in junior high.  I went to every dance and did that awkward, hands-on-her-hips swaying thing that kids who think they're in love do.  I crushed on girls and interestingly, I don't remember crushing much on my guy friends.  I remember having this ridiculous friend-crush on this guy who played clarinet in the school band; I thought he was so cool and I wanted to be just like him for some reason.

[Confession: I just Facebook-stalked him. He's missing his second upper incisor and he has his cartilage pierced. Which totally makes him sound like a hillbilly, but he looks more like a sexy, unconventional hipster than anything.  And he's a teacher.  And married to a girl. If you look at my crush history, that's pretty much my dream guy. I really hope he reads this someday and is like, "Who the hell is this guy?!?"]

So middle school passed with no major incident.  Except the time my brother kidnapped me and I had no idea who he is.  But I don't remember that to save my life because it was so traumatic, so I might be repressing all kinds of memories, haha.

Then came high school and a girl named Christa Andrews. Christa was a girl in my stake. She fit the description of "neat and comely" to a T. She never wore the latest fashions, nor did she slather herself in makeup. She was modest and sweet and she loved having fun, whether it was playing cards at home or night games at the park. In spite of the fact that she didn't wow with her stunning good looks or entice with revealing clothing, she was incredibly attractive.  Maybe especially because I was gay and didn't react to cleavage and ass like other guys.

I followed Christa around like a puppy dog my freshman year.  She was a year older, so she introduced me to a lot of her friends and showed me around high school.  She sat with me at lunch most days at the Mormon table (an apellation from others, not ourselves) and we had a few elective classes together, much to my delight.

I loved her and she could do no wrong. Whenever others accused her (sometimes unfairly and sometimes not) of being too uppity or too fake or too self-righteous, it hurt my feelings and made me want to defend her. At night I used to dream of her coming to me and telling me she loved me and that she'd wait for me to turn 16 so we could start dating.  Those were peaceful, happy dreams.

Then came the day when it all changed.  After crushing on Christa for two unrequited years, I just stopped liking her.  It was because we were at a party and she was fawning over the man who became her husband a few years ago.  I remember seeing them together and thinking, "She's not yours, man."  And in an instant, she went from this perfect angel who I put on a pedestal to this charming, sweet young woman who could sometimes get a little pretentious in her devotion, but was nonetheless a wonderful person to be around. When she graduated and moved on, my high school world got a little darker, but I'm grateful for her even so.

I learned a lot from Christa.  I learned that no matter how infatuated you are with a person, they still have faults.  The story of Christa reminds me a lot of a line from Juno: "Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass."  That's how I felt about Christa for awhile, and that's how I felt about every other girl and guy I've been infatuated and/or in love with.

There were a few other girls in high school, a few stolen kisses from "girlfriends" that lasted all of three weeks before one of us got bored and moved on (usually me).  Stay tuned for my experiences with the other gender.

1 comment:

  1. Popcorn popped, Coke filled - waiting for the show to start;)


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