Shamed

Psychologically speaking, shame is a non-productive emotion. Instead of being a function of how we feel and, from a gospel perspective, how the Lord feels about our actions, it is a function of how we perceive others will feel about our actions.  Therefore, shame breeds an unconscious need to withdraw from others to avoid that possible embarrassment from being "found out." Because it motivates one to try and resolve something alone, without the assistance or help of others, shame is the antithesis of repentance and the Atonement.

Jessica Mockett, a filmmaker from Salt Lake City, is trying to make shame a thing of the past.  Her documentary, Shamed, is about the pain and embarrassment that comes from pornography addiction. She aims to reduce the fear and misconception so often attached to this incredibly personal struggle by telling the stories of former pornography addicts and using their challenges to reach out to others who may be struggling.

The trailer, found below, contains snippets of the interviews of two men.  One man says something that really hits home because it reminds me of how I felt when I first started consuming pornography: "You kind of go into this hopeless helplessness-type mentality of, like, "I'm never gonna get better, but it doesn't matter because I can just hide this for the rest of my life."  I hid it for two years and looking back, those two years were some of the most painful, disingenuous years of my life. The desire to hide is a natural one, but it doesn't work. Both men talk about the bad choice they made, not in consuming porn, but in deciding to hide their problems from others.

I'd like to end with this quote, also from the trailer: "The Gospel is not about trying to be perfect or trying to appear perfect, it's just trying to do the best that you can, and seeking the help when you need it." I am not perfect and neither are you and that is okay. Don't be ashamed, be proactive and reach out for help or reach out to help another. As always, if you want to tell your story to someone who loves and appreciates you as a child of God, e-mail me at gaymormonpioneer at gmail dot com.


Mockett is using Kickstarter, an online project-funding platform, to support this project.  Kickstarter gives her a deadline for fundraising, just 31 days away on February 15th, and she needs to raise money for her project by then. She has a unique take on this problem and I want to see her ideas come to fruition. If you feel so inclined, please, donate and share this story with friends.