Thursday, July 7, 2011

Ignorance or Apathy?

It is impossible for a man to be saved in ignorance.

A few weeks ago I posted something in which I said that I was jealous of those who don't have the internal conflict Mormon homosexuals face.  Either they are heterosexual and have testimonies or are homosexual and don't, so either way there are few obstacles to their happiness.

The next day I came across the above scripture.  It slapped me in the face a little bit, especially regarding the envy I had been feeling for others who may fall in the "ignorant" category.  (Again, a disclaimer:  I'm talking hypothetically.  My knowledge is not your knowledge.  These are my thoughts as they apply to me.)

First off, I feel like this scripture needs a little clarification (gospel of gmp here, not doctrine). If a man is born gay or develops gay tendencies or whatever the current scientific opinion is, but never hears the Gospel, this scripture doesn't say that this man is damned because of his ignorance.  He will hear the Gospel and will then have the opportunity to accept or reject it.  That is a basic principle that applies to everyone.  So instead of ignorance, I think this scripture instead is referring to apathy, like it says in its footnote.  The same book of scripture says that many are only kept from the truth because they know not where to find it, not because they don't care about finding it.

As I was reading and thinking about this scripture, I came to a conclusion or two.  I have received a witness of some of the laws of God.  No amount of jealousy for those who haven't will make that witness go away.  In addition, I wasn't coveting their ignorance, I was hoping for apathy.  I was seeking a mindset where I didn't care about the truth enough to have it stand in my way of living a gay lifestyle.

I'm going to really try hard to eliminate that envy I have for other people.  No amount can change my circumstances, and that jealousy can become twice as damaging when it's directed at a mindset that ultimately is damaging.  I do have a testimony and I also am gay.  That is my reality and I can't create the ignorance or apathy required for my life to change.  The only thing I can do to make things better is learn more about the nature of my life and go from there.  

Is the problem ignorance or apathy?  Hey, I don't know and I don't care.
Jimmy Buffett

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Be nice, mmmmkay? I allow anonymous comments, but not anonymous (or even attributed) douchebaggery. The Gay Mormon Pioneer's tolerance for hate and venom are incredibly low, but his love of communication and debate are high, so have an opinion, but be kind and gentle when you share it.

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