Saturday, April 26, 2014

I got 99 problems...

I remember when I realized that 99% of my emotional duress was directly or indirectly caused by that rift between God and gay in my life. This thought saddened me somewhat, as though I was incapable of feeling anything but cheated or conflicted or lonesome or what have you.

Well, my friends, I have proved that theory wrong in the last month.

I'm not going to lie, it's actually kind of nice to feel anxious or depressed about something other than being a gay Mormon.  It's nice to actually experience a breadth of emotion, rather than just being a lovelorn silly little thing. It's like when I had my heart broken the very first time: it sucked, but it also felt cool to know that I was capable of that kind of emotion.

In any case, money is tight, school is tough, the workplace is a scary and unforgiving world, and I have no idea where I will be or what I will be doing in three months.  It's pretty awful. And friends.  Friends are hard to come by lately. I feel as though I'm burning more than a few bridges and I don't know what to do to stop it.

But, like I said, it is downright refreshing to be thinking about something besides being a QueerMo.

Rock on, muthafuckas.

1 comment:

  1. Sometimes we are almost always one person away from being totally and entirely alone.


Be nice, mmmmkay? I allow anonymous comments, but not anonymous (or even attributed) douchebaggery. The Gay Mormon Pioneer's tolerance for hate and venom are incredibly low, but his love of communication and debate are high, so have an opinion, but be kind and gentle when you share it.

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