"Etymology and the gay Mormon mind"- Northern Lights

My most recent post went live over at Northern Lights. This one was kind of difficult to write. As regular readers know, I have not been on a spiritual high right now and Northern Lights is not the proper place to air out negative, spiritually destructive emotions. It's supposed to be a place of faith and encouragement, where gay Mormons and their allies write about how fulfulling it is to suffer from same-gender attraction.

They are wonderful men and women who blog there and they all tell a unique and fantastic story that is truly faith-affirming. But I sometimes don't feel as though I fit in well there because I don't always partake of the belief that it's a fulfilling life being gay and Mormon.

So, in this latest post, I tried to air out some of those feelings I'd been having as a way to try and show the world (and other gay people who think like me) that life can be tough and it's okay to be mad about it. My good friend showed me in a conversation I had with her that the bitterness is sometimes the best first step to take on the road to recovery, as long as it's given a properly brief time slot. And another one of my friends said that his greatest complaint about Northern Lights was how plasticky and fake it felt, like people were showing their best selves in their blog posts. He sought something more real.

(For the record, I disagree. I think Northern Lights is part of a balanced blogosphere diet. They provide lots of examples of faith and God knows the world could use more of those.)

I dunno. It was a hard post to write. I feel like a fish out of water. But I guess that's not a unique feeling for a religious gay kid. I should be used to it.