I've been a little bipolar lately. Both my jobs give me a lot of alone time, which isn't usually a bad thing, but lately it has been. I've been reliving all of my embarrassing moments, all of my mistakes and failed relationships, all of my transgressions, etc. I try and distract myself with my work, by going through my to-do list in my head, or by fantasizing about the one thing that usually works to sidetrack the brain into something semi-productive, but in the end, I still find myself wincing and turning red at the thought of my past. I even am haunted by the time when I, as a 7-year-old, pushed a girl down because she was making fun of my project in art class, a memory which, by most accounts, should be fairly easily reconciled. It seems I can't escape my past.
In any case, I've been feeling pretty down in the dumps lately and my confidence has been shaken. This was all coming to a head last weekend. I got home Saturday night from a camping trip, having had a lot of fun, but still feeling a little blue. I've been craving a certain movie for a few weeks, and I decided I needed some alone time to enjoy it and try to get my head in a decent place, so I ran out to Blockbuster and picked up Meet the Robinsons, one of Disney's most underrated animated features and my absolute favorite movie.
I will try really hard not to ruin it, because you probably haven't seen it and you absolutely should. It's one of those rare movies that will make you laugh and cry, but leave you feeling better about the world when the movie is over. (Sidebar: I defy anyone who is even marginally emotional not to cry the first time you see it. I also defy anyone with even the smallest of funny bones not to laugh hysterically through the whole movie ["I have a big head and little arms. I'm just not sure how well this plan was thought through."])
Anyway, the central theme echoed several times is, "Keep moving forward." This line is taken from a quote that states that looking back gets you nowhere and the only way to go is forward (watch the movie and you get to find out who said it first, it's a pleasant surprise). Louis, a lonely orphan, spends most of the movie looking back and wishing he knew his birth mother, but a glimpse into the future and the marvels it holds changes his outlook and inspires him to move forward.
Louis was lucky. He, through the use of a time machine, got to see the next chapter in his life's story. Incredibly few of us are given that literal of a gift. However, I think we all have a sense of what happens next. Each of us has an idea of what life will bring if we start working today to attain some of our goals. And even though life rarely turns out like you plan, with every step forward the vision becomes a little clearer and the goal becomes a little more refined. The past is gone, and while it has its share of crappy memories for everyone, most of them can remain in the past if we keep moving forward, one step at a time.
beautiful post b. and geeze, you bully! pushing down a little girl! she deserved it b. promise. plus she probably feels guilty for making fun of you.
ReplyDeleteI totally have a hard time not thinking about the past. Things I should have done differently, said, etc. It is one of my biggest weaknesses. But it's also one of the adversaries biggest weapons. Great movie...sounds like you know how to get yourself out of the funk. Keep looking forward.
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